Eclat Weekly Newsletter Vol 2, No 1, 8 Jan 2024
^ What Happens When Someone Sees More in You Than You See in Yourself? - The Michelangelo Effect ^ Eclat NextStep™: Your next step, made certain ^Stuff we loved
As a young man, I was very sure of what I wanted to do, wanted to be. Youth does that to one. The absurdity of being sure is still to be discovered.
My partner at the time wanted me to do more with my ‘potential.’ After a while, I resented her for it. What even was my potential? And if I was happy doing what I was doing, why would anyone (including those with my best interests at heart) want me to do anything else?
I chanced upon something called ‘The Michelangelo Effect’ recently. It takes its name from the great master’s quote ‘I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.’
When someone else can see that angel in you, wants to bring it to life, that is The Michelangelo Effect.
The only glitch? You are not a slab of marble.
Marble doesn’t resist. It doesn’t question the sculptor or wonder if the chisel is going in the right direction. Humans, on the other hand, are gloriously messy. We resist. We doubt. We sometimes see progress as pain and change as loss.
But perhaps that’s the point. Unlike marble, you are not an inanimate object waiting for someone to mould you. You have a say. You can choose whether the vision someone else has for you aligns with your own.
The Michelangelo Effect isn’t about passively letting someone carve you into what they think you should be. It’s about partnership. It’s about recognizing when someone sees something extraordinary in you—and deciding if you want to see it too.
So no, you’re not a slab of marble. You’re the artist of your own life. But every artist needs inspiration, a muse, a vision. If someone cares enough to see the angel in you, maybe—just maybe—they’re holding up a mirror to what you could already become.
Let’s assume, this person, can see potential in you, does not want to change you (that’s the Pygmalion Effect), but rather wants to help you become all that you can.
These are people who have a bite of your cake and say ‘wow! This is amazing. Have you thought about doing this professionally?’
Replace cake with anything. My daughter’s friend used to make candles as birthday gifts. Her friends got together and made her set up a small staff at the college fest. It was a smash success. She is now an entrepreneur.
The requirement is simply this: Someone sees something in you.
So what’s required?
- Someone else*
- Potential (it doesn’t matter if you think it’s good enough—someone else sees it)
- That someone else is caring enough to do something about it.
If any of these conditions not met, we do not have a Michelangelo Effect.
Some additional, good to have, would be:
- You always knew, but were never sure. This makes it easier. Let’s say you were someone who was always asked by people to write for them. Anytime anyone in your circle needed to write an official letter or a poem, they reached out to you. You did it. You never thought much of it until someone else took your little poem or short story and submitted it. Not only that, but you got published. You are still not sure if you have what it takes to be a writer, but this makes it possible. There must be something, you start to think.
- The future, the possibility, is not in odds with who you are or ever want to be. A friend, a loved one, might think you would make a very good investor, but you just don’t enjoy handling money. That may not work. You enjoy dancing in the dark, but hate the idea of performing on a reel, leave the lights switched off.
What to do if you find your Michelangelo?
- Listen. Just listen. Start there. Don’t judge, don’t say things like ‘you don’t know’ or ‘it’s easy for you to say’ or worse ‘why don’t you do it?’ The potential is yours and yours alone, to do anything or nothing with.
- Reflect. If someone saw you pour a drink at a friend’s birthday bash and suggested you become a bartender, or saw you organize a wedding and suggested you start your own wedding planner business, you do not need to rush out and do it. Reflect on it. Is it something that resonates. Is it something you did think about in the past, but then went off and did what was expected of you. Is it something you enjoy so much, that would do it for free?
This one thought, ‘is it something I enjoy so much, that I would do it for free’ is a true litmus test. If the answer is yes, you must, and I repeat, you must think of pursuing it as a profession.
- Thank them. Whether you let them liberate the angel they see or decline to be a project for them, either way, thank them. You are blessed to have someone in your life who cares, who sees, who wants something for you. Let them know they are valued and that their opinion is always appreciated.
If this is someone who is especially close to you - so, not your dad’s friend who suggested during a get-together that you should ‘definitely try to get a PR in Canada’ - then let them know the reasons for your decision. Whether you choose to agree with them or not, giving them your reasons will help them come to grips with the thought ‘Why can’t she see what I can’. It can be frustrating for someone who cares for you deeply, to see you waste your potential. Help them move past it. Be kind.
And if you do choose to walk the path they illuminate for you, then let them enjoy the process of you becoming your better self. Keep them in the loop. Let them know who much you are enjoying the trust they reposed in you. Make them feel like the angel they saw in you.
That’s a powerful and deeply personal question—and one worth addressing in the article. Here’s a suggestion for how you could weave it into your piece:
But what if no one sees the angel in you?
It’s a tough thought, isn’t it? What if there’s no Michelangelo in your life? No one who looks at you and sees untapped greatness?
Here’s the truth: Sometimes, you have to be your own Michelangelo.
You might be waiting for someone to show you the way, to nudge you, to say, “You could be more.” But life doesn’t always work that way. And that’s okay. If no one sees your potential, it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. It just means you have to be the one to uncover it.
Start by asking yourself:
• What brings me joy, so much so that I’d do it for free?
• What have I always been drawn to, even if I never pursued it seriously?
• What small things have people appreciated about me, even casually—a good listener, a problem-solver, a creative spark?
Your higher self might not reveal itself in one grand moment. It might be hidden in the small, quiet things you already love or do effortlessly.
And if you can’t see the angel right now, that’s fine too. Be patient. Try new things. Surround yourself with people who inspire you, even if they’re not sculpting you directly. Sometimes, in carving out your own path, you’ll surprise yourself—and the world—with what you’re capable of.
Your evil twin could fulfil this role. If you want to know how to make that happen, leave the comment ‘Evil Twin’ and I will send it to you.
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